Dangie’s Story of Hope and Recovery
“I came from a broken home. My mother was an addict and I was adopted by my grandpa in the 7th grade. I witnessed my mother’s addiction first hand. I have witnessed my mother overdose several times.
Despite this, I had a fairly normal childhood. I graduated high school and enrolled in college. I began smoking pot and drinking as a freshman in college. This led to socially using drugs like ecstasy and cocaine on the weekends. I was in my final semester of nursing school when I broke up with my high school sweet heart. To cope, I began dabbling with harder drugs.
Soon after the break up, my mother and I were in a tragic car accident where she drowned during a flash flood. I was 28 years old. I couldn’t understand why she had survived all of her overdoses just to die in a car accident. I had so much anger and resentment toward God. I began dabbling with meth and within a year I had lost my house and car and was charged with felonies.
A year after the accident I met my husband and shortly became pregnant. I was able to maintain some sobriety for several years. I wasn’t using, but I wasn’t working a program and I didn’t try to find God. I was just surviving. After a few years a coworker offered me a pill to help with my back pain and that quickly spiraled back to full blown meth addiction.
In 2018, I became pregnant for the second time. I was caught in the grip of addiction and didn’t know how to stop. I managed to stop using during the second trimester. A month before I was scheduled for a C section, I went to the ER because I could feel my baby was in distress. On December 4th 2018, my baby died in the emergency room. I was devastated. I believed I was cursed and God was punishing me. Filled with guilt and shame, my addiction completely consumed me.
Two and a half months after I lost my baby, My fiancé went to rehab and returned with the message that recovery is possible. I began attending a 12 step meeting with my fiancé and realized that I am an addict. I began to learn about addiction and the recovery process. Through attending a 12-step meeting, church, and counseling, I have been able to gain closure on my mother’s death and the death of my baby as well. I understand now that God is with me and he does love me.
Today, I am married and fully present in my son’s life, and have had all of my felonies expunged. My son is always at school on time, plays sports, and is on the honor roll. I work as a certified Peer Support Specialist and volunteer my time at Safe Haven. On February 26th 2022, I will have 3 years of sobriety. I live to share the message that any addict can stop using drugs, lose the desire to use, and find a new way to live."